What makes you successful? When you ask that question, people lie 
5,000 interviewed….soooooo…..asked beyond the obvious…..weird, interesting, disturbing, strange
- #1 realtor in US: tapped into 3700 moving employees for husband’s company….what was it? A willingness to tapped into the list
- from mailroom to CEO: talk really well behind peoples backs and it will get back to them…not so smart, not so successful….but talked really good behind people’s backs because he was trusted and their stories became “good news” Becomes influential. Now managers come to him, so middle-management, etc., etc….until he becomes CEO…typically use tactices that work
- teacher…extraordinary success w/ her students who went on to do great things: secret–always acted interested in what students said “tell me more about that” and “wow, really” buZz words that kids responded to and would open up to her…acted amazed about her students (even when not!) and her kids seemed amazed by themselves…be impressed by what they bring to her room..students acted to impress her even though her amazement was sometimes mechanical and forced. Not a great teacher but got the kids to perform
- Paris Hilton’s ex-publicist: not the wonder-kin but why her? Created her own fame by faking her fame until it became real…willing to do what others were not willing to do
- take advantages of your advantages…make it work
- 3 Lies: positive attitude is paramount; genuius is the platform; better idea/product/offer/concept…believe these and we have to reinvent yourself and have to do this and it’s not you so cannot get “it”..success
- Most successful: negative thinking; know I can do this because I saw the problems because I’m a problem person…if you see it half empty you’re more likely to try to fill it up! Decide to fix the problem not believe in the “good”….smartest person isn’t the top-dog—smartest persons tend to work for the boss, genius tends to lack clarity Keep it clear, level is too high to be influential–need to be smart and clear…but ego gets int he way of seeing your lack of clarity by talking above people…..don’t need to change your attitude or self to succeed…need to take advantage of who you are…don’t need to be marvelous and wonderful–not charismatic or brilliant
- Behavior will Betray your Skill…doesn’t matter how “smart” and “good” you are if you create holes in with bad behavior Bad plumber, Tonya Harding/Michael Jackson….people are looking for a reason to choose someone else….ARE YOU PREFERRED?!?!?!?!? Being good at what you do is one thing…being preferred is something else?
- Do you make good impressions on people? the most successful are the ones who deliver what they have to offer into the arms of what others believed in in the first place…first impression…be clear, and good, and let mediocre ideas rise…Great idea presented badly and mediocre idea presented well….Bad/Mediocre wins. Are you realistic for how you’re viewed????? People don’t choose what’s best, they choose what’s comfortable. Being seen matters, impression matters…going to get your idea sold.
- Take advantage of advantages; take a look at how you’re viewed.
- Take a journey to see how you’re actually viewed.
- Your gift if your curse…what you’re best at, holds you back…shy allows you to push; not that smart makes you less threatening and will create trust/more info; look to your problem to find your advantage
- Is that problem an advantage ?
- Are you willing to leverage your relationships to get ahead? Are you willing to move past those people who don’t move you forward?
- You get to define your life! Life is not fair so take all your advantages.
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